I heard a quote in a Bible study once that stopped me in my tracks.
“Who is the I you pretend to be?”
Whoa. That one hit home.
For I had been pretending for a very long time, chasing definitions I did not have any part in writing. The perfect mom with an exact balance of discipline, love, and understanding (and no personal needs of my own . . . ever). A good wife, an active member of my church and community, a respectful daughter, a “good” Christian. Or how about a productive worker, a producer of a paycheck, and a world changer who gets everything on the to-do done without delay or distraction.
There was only one problem.
God made me terribly creative.
So, the battle raged on inside. I fought off the “distractions” and urges to follow the daydreams and forced myself to walk the line the world said I should. I cannot begin to tell you how tired I was. How empty I was.
And then God offered something different.
A reminder of where “me” was defined.
What came out the other side of that freedom looked nothing like the career, relationships, or life I thought I was supposed to have. But just seeing it was not enough. I also had to give myself permission to live it. To walk the path created only for me, to tell the story I was meant to tell and no one else’s.
It turned out I was a lighthouse. My heart was meant to encourage the encouragers and lift those in lonely roles. And only God could define what that looked like. When I gave myself permission to just let go of what everyone else thought I should be, I began to find who I was created to be. I am telling you all this because you have a chance to do the same.
It still will not be a perfect life, but it will be yours. The one you were purposed for, the story only you can tell. The gifts that have been hidden under all those expectations are just waiting to breathe new life into you.
What would happen if you found that beam of light that seeks you out among the stormy waves? What if you followed it to the solid ground reserved only for you? What if you discover that you were meant to be someone’s lighthouse too?
Every lighthouse is different and reflects and shines in its own way. Now would be a great time to look for the light so you can give yourself permission to find out what yours looks like.
So, let’s ask it again.
Who is the I you pretend to be?
Look for the light, friend.
